Anticipating The Inevitable
by Erosthemagni
Summary: You can't anticipate your own death. You know it will happen. You can do want you want and say what you please. You can put it off or have a close call with it. Regardless of what happens, you will die, and you won't anticipate it. Oneshot.


You don't anticipate your death. You can imagine it, wish for it, prevent it, and push it off, but you can't anticipate it. It hits you. It knocks you down. You think you're invincible, and then death swoops in and knocks you clean off of your pedestal. Now here I lay, dying. I've bee kicked clean off my pedestal. I see glimpses of my life. An early Christmas. An old friend. A long forgotten joke. The last one brings a slight smile to my face. I breathe in, feeling the cold metal against my heart. Dying is bittersweet. It is, physically, the most painful thing you will ever experience. However, for the first time in years, I am perfectly calm. Even that makes me laugh. I'm lying here, in the aftermath of the biggest battles I've ever been a part of, with a mythological sword jutting out of my chest, everyone I've ever cared for either dead or rushing towards me, and I'm at perfect ease.

Clark reaches me first. He's delivering some sappy good-bye speech about being brothers. When he moves Hawkgirl takes his spot and says something about dying in battle. Several more people make good-byes, knowing that I'm not going to make it. I only catch about half of it. When everyone goes completely silent I finally grasp what's happening.

Diana's walking towards me. Once she kneels next to me, our eyes meet. We just stare. Then her tears fall. I try to wipe them away, my mental state suddenly disturbed. It takes a lot but I get my hand up to her face in time to catch the tear. Normally she would scold me for moving while I'm injured; instead she grabs my hand and presses it closer. Using the other hand I fumble over to my belt. I undo the latch on the front compartment, and retrieve its contents. The silver chain spills into my palm and I hold it out to her. She looks down at it. She smiles sadly, taking it. Slowly she looks up at me. I can't see her though. Wait. I want to see her. I want to see her face. I want to see her smile. I don't want to leave her like this. I struggle to open my eyes but they weigh too much. I start to panic, but her hand smoothes my hair and her face presses into mine. She mutters something but I can't hear her. I'm slipping. I'm not ready to go. I didn't say good-bye to Dick or Damien. I never showed Diana how much I love her. I didn't do nearly all the things I needed to. But it's too late. It's dark and silent and I no longer feel the steel against my heart. In fact I can't feel anything.

It's dark. Unbelievably, undeniably, irreversibly, piercingly dark. I have no form. I am a thought floating across consciousness. As calm and peaceful as this is, I find I hate it. Because it's dark and cold. I lived and thrived in these exact conditions for years. Why do I hate what I love? Then I realize, I don't love those things. I realize I had gotten used to her warmth. I love her warmth. Now the warmth and love and everything I really needed, is gone. I'm here, forever.

I shoot upright. Cold sweat is dripping down my forehead and I'm breathing all too heavy. My body is rigid. I look around. I'm in my bedroom. I'm in my large bed, in my calm house. It's snowing outside. None of that matters though. What matters is that next to me is the one thing I need more than anything else in the world. Diana's sleeping form is curled up little more than three inches away, her back towards me. Reclining back down, I pull her into my chest. I bury my face into her hair, listening to her breathing.

You can't be sure when you're going to die. You can say or do what you want, but you will not be sure until it happens. So be ready.

_**A/n: I forgot my head cannon for LOK so I did this instead. Anywho, since my computer crashed and I have to use this one, the next chapter of revelations might take a little longer to post. Hope you enjoyed! : )**_


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